Gonna make you Pocari Sweat 'till You Bleed

Mmmmm...sweaty. I'm somewhat relieved to report the famous Pocari Sweat does not taste like squeezed Asian man, but tastes kind of like lemon lime Gatorade.

Today was fairly low key. We'd planned on hunkering down for the typhoon, but it missed us. Regardless, we didn't do a lot today. A trip to the hotel spa was the big event. However, tomorrow we are going on to Kyoto for a few days, so we had to buy train tickets today. Looking forward to traveling on the bullet train.

Here's a couple of snaps from the train station near the Conrad:





CHOO-CHOO!!!! Here comes the train!!!



Saw this weird little bag in the train station. The family was coming back from Tokyo Disneyland. Seriously.



Here's another quirky piece of Engrish from the convenience store where we bought the beverages I showed you earlier. Note: this store was playing Guru when we were in there last, so I'll forgive them their weird slogans.



As we're walking back from our little venture, I noticed a rack of DVDs in front of a newsstand. A closer inspection revealed I'd stumbled onto the Japanese equivalent of the dollar store DVDs I'd been so enamored with a while ago. But, rather than a bunch of obscure Japanese movies I'd never heard of (which I really would have preferred), I found the selection to be rather familiar.



The top row there is all the classic Charlie Chaplin films. The second, every Disney feature up to Dumbo.



The racks were filled with pretty much every important US film up to about 1950. The only omission I found was Wizard of Oz, but you name it, you could find nearly anything else. (Note 500 yen is a little more than $4 US.)

Another little book store, another rack of DVDs. This one had a little more color anyway.



Who the heck is Mike Mizno? And what's he got to do with pirated DVDs of US films?



Really? I know nothing about Japanese copyright, but wow.



Is this revenge for all the pirated US Gamera and Street Fighter discs? Totally weird and maybe I'll bite the bullet on a disc or two just to see what the deal is.

Speaking of Gamera, ho-boy, I shouldn't have left him and Godzilla alone in the room because this is what I walked in on:



Hey you guys. What are you up to?



GODZILLA! You put that little tree thing down, right this instance!



*sigh* That wasn't what I meant.

Jet Jaguar was busy running up a bill with the adult pay per view, but I won't bore you with pictures of that. (Really ugly, trust me.)

Well, that's all I got for today. Bed is calling so according to the pink duck thing, this blog is officially closed for the night.

Behind the Brown Door

Konichiwa! There's some of that fine Mary Tyler Moore font I promised you. Yeah, that's our door. We didn't see much of the room today as we spent most of the day getting rained on in Akihabara. Thanks weather. Anyway, two geeks in the electric capitol of the world were probably need more than a little rain to slow us down.

There's Kristen just after we got of the train. You can start to see a little of the insanity in the back ground. The only way I can describe it is if you've seen Blade Runner, it's pretty much like that, without the artificial animal shops.

That was just a random street corner. Nothing really special, but just a typical image from the street. We hit it at about 10:30 and didn't leave until 6. Stores were packed solid with people and electronics. Of course, everywhere I went, I was wishing I'd paid a little more attention in those ten hours of Japanese I took at IUPUI as it is a little tough to look for the stuff I was really after (such as videogames.)

Konchiwa Sanders-san! Am I the only one who thinks some Japanese men start looking like Colonel Sanders as they age? Kind of like US guys looking like Kenny Rogers. Hmm...they both had chicken restaurants. Coincidence?

So most of the stores don't allow photographs, ironically enough. I had to sneak a few, like here, look who is thinking differently:

Sadly he wasn't for sale. (Gamera is humping an old iMac, in case you couldn't tell.)

One of the fun things I dig even at home are capsule machines. In Japan, they really know how to do them right.


Kristen is getting ready to drop some yen in the wall of machines we found in one store.


This Namco machine was my favorite. We tried in vain to collect 'em all. Collect what? you ask:

Alright, you can't really tell from the picture, but they're keychain fobs that make noise when you press the button. So the Pac-Man one does the wacka-wacka thing, Dig Dug makes the pumping sound, etc. I still need a Xevious...grrr.

That same store had tons of toys and I picked up a few:

Look! It's Gamera, Jet Jaguar and Godzilla in his '68 comeback flavor! w00t! I was wishing I was more into Ultraman, because this store had so much Ultraman crap, I just wanted to start buying stuff even though I had know idea what it was.

I won't bore you with everything we bought, but here's a highlight:

This is the Space Invaders Anniversary set for PS2. I'd seen this before, but become it came out so long ago, it was off my radar. You get a PS2 game with all the Space Invaders games and this cool little controller thing:


You stick a dual shock in there and play it like an old Space Invaders cabinet. Totally silly, but I had to have it and got it cheap used (750 yen!)

As you can see, I'm putting it to use immediately to broker a peace accord between Gamera and Godzilla. Rather than trashing Tokyo, they're settling their differences over a game of Space Invaders. Jet Jaguar has a quarter up, though no one really takes him seriously.

Speaking of Gamera...should I feel shame for dropping some serious coin on the first four Gamera movies? Why do I love them so? Why are the crummy pan & scan "public domain" versions we have at home not good enough? Further more, why am I now determined to track down the remaining three discs I need to finish this set. *sigh*



Here's my CD haul for today. I love Japanese reissues, as they tend to do them right. The mini-LP covers are the bomb and I'm noticing what started out as just a jazz thing is moving to all kinds of music as well. However, it's just the jazz I'm after. Highlights of this include Dave Pike and Les De Merle discs I've never seen and, though it pains me to rebuy anything, I finally have another copy of 1969Miles, which is my favorite Miles CD ever. I'm not letting this one out of my sight, as my first copy walked. Kristen bought some good CDs too but I'm sure she'll talk about that over on her blog.

Rob G. out. I got a monster game night to referee.

Be Fresh!

OK, we're here. It's about 9:28 PM here and about 8:28 AM yesterday in Indy. Blogger thinks I'm Japanese now and I can't figure out how to change it, but I know what I'm doing so here we are.

I'm pretty zonked, so this is going to be quick. I just wanted to check in.

Tokyo is a pretty amazing city. I've seen several large cities, but this is just something else. I can't wait to actually get out and explore...assuming we don't get rained out by the typhoon. :(

Speaking of typhoon...




yes, we have the fancy Japanese toilet with the butt washer and heated seat. Oooh aaaah! The Tokyo Conrad is pretty nice. Excellent use of the Mary Tyler Moore font all over the place, which I'm always in favor of.

Anyway, I'm going to crash out. Later.

Airplane Blogging

So here I am, airplane blogging. Obviously, I won't be able to post for a while. It's 5:22 PM Indianapolis time and I haven't a clue where we are currently, but we're going to be airborne for about ten more hours. Joy.

Air Canada first class is pretty sweet. You have these nifty pod deelies, it's pretty standard for big planes, but still impressive. Everyone up here ends up with their own bed in essence as the seats go flat. Did this on our European trip three years ago, though we got bumped up only on the way there. Kristen should have a picture of these things.

Anyway, we went from Indy to Toronto and now are en-route from Toronto to Tokyo. For my in flight entertainment, I watched the entire first season of This American Life. Yeah, I had a vested interest (whoo hoo, I heard my drums for about five seconds just before the credits in episode three) but they really did an awesome job translating an iconic radio show to TV. In short, if you like the radio show, you'll like the TV show. If not, I don't know what to tell you.

I'm a little disappointed that the TVs here in the plane don't have the map channel. Yeah, I know a majority of the time you're looking at nothing more than an outline of a plane over blue (or at least you are on the flights I've had it on) but it's still kind of fun once you get close to your destination.

What else? Well, I didn't really say much about the wedding. It was pretty much amazing. Kristen is an awesome planner and all the people who put things together did such an awesome job. In spite of constantly threatening to run away to Vegas, I think it was all pretty much worth the hassle.

I'm pretty excited to go on this trip, but I think I'm also excited to get life back in order. We've got a huge mess at home and I guess I'm kind of anxious to get things in order. Plus, I have a man-lair to set up. I've been over a month without a turntable and it's bumming me out big time.

Other than that...not much I guess. I'm 32, I'm married and I'm probably over an ocean somewhere, basking in the glow of my MacBook, typing this. Sleep would be good, but I don't know if I'm ready yet.

Toronto

Well, my first attempt with mobile blogging was a bust, but I found a hot spot and here I am in the Toronto airport waiting for our flight to Tokyo. I'd advise you to jump over to Kristen's blog to check out some hot wedding photos.

Oh crap...we're boarding. Later.

T Minus Two Days...

and counting.

Really, I don't know if it just hasn't hit me yet or what, but I'm not really nervous or worried about getting married. I'm just ready to get this show on the road. There's been tons of planning and anticipation and it's to the point where everything is moving at light speed now (a setting I don't function well at) and I think it's starting to make us both slightly crazy.

Not that I was anticipating cold feet or anything like that. It is odd, I had never planned on getting married (as my dad likes to remind me every chance he gets.) That, of course, was before I met Kristen. I know it sounds cliche, but you really do know when the right one comes along. In fact, I never really proposed, it just seemed like marriage was the right thing to do.

So it's all pretty cool. If anything, I'm excited about spending the rest of my life with my best friend. We have so much fun together and I think we compliment each other nicely.

I'd also like to add we got interviewed by Channel 13 a few days ago about having a 7/7/07 wedding. I have no idea how that is going to come out, but I think it's going to air tomorrow at 6.

I also thought I'd share some music I put together as background for the cocktail hour and such. It's some of my favorite jazz slow jams, hopefully, you'll dig them too.
Disc 1
Disc 2

A lot of words about a handfull of DVDs.

I've been up to my eyeballs in wedding and moving lately, but I have managed to sneak a few movies in during the downtime. I managed to pick up a bunch of stuff on Something Weird's summer sale which came out to $8 post paid a DVD-R. For those of you who only know the SWV catalog from their special editions, they have a ton of stuff in their on-line catalog that will probably never see an Image disc. In many cases, the stuff is a little more "adult" than what a mainstream company would be comfortable carrying. There's also some of it with a much more limited appeal than what they have been releasing. And some of these prints are flawed in a way that only more dedicated fans will probably put up with them.

So, my order had a little of all three of these elements. Of course, it will probably be just my luck that Image will take the plunge on a few of these, but I kinda doubt it.

The first movie I got into probably hits all three criteria. It's Miss Nymphet's Zap-In, a Herschell Gordon Lewis film lost until a few years ago. HGL cut this one to double feature with Gore Gore Girls, though it's pretty far away in theme from that odyssey of gore.

Zap-In is kind of an "adult" take off on Laugh-In, consisting of lots of rapid fire vaudeville sketches, dirty jokes and plenty of boobies. Every now and then, the action stops and the entire cast yells "ZAP" and attempts to hold a freeze frame. Honestly, these were some of the more humorous moments in the film.

I'd like to say something good about Zap-In, but I really can't. Could HGL do comedy? Yes, at least when we're talking black comedy. That vein runs deep in most of his films. But this one just comes off corny and while it's interesting for a HGL completest, there isn't much to recommend it above and beyond that.

SWV's DVD-R looked alright to me, all things considered. This film had a really low print run and until recently, this was the only copy known to exist. (An incomplete print turned up on eBay about a year ago, but I don't know if anyone has seen it.) This print is pretty battered, with emulsion lines running through out and some rough spots at the reel changes. Still, I've seen a lot worse, and I don't think the public is going to demand this one get the Criterion treatment any time soon.

I filled a couple more holes in my HGL collection with The Magic Land of Mother Goose and Jimmy the Boy Wonder, two kiddie features Herschell shot as a hired gun. Now this is a warped double feature. Mother Goose is basically a stage play with Herschell doing little more than setting up a camera at the back of a high school auditorium. Basically, this was a vehicle for some magician and it features practically no production value at all. It does have a Raggedy Ann costume that is pure nightmare fuel and a pretty twisted which burning trick. I found this one worthwhile, but I also love K. Gordon Murray kid flicks.

(Speaking of K. Gordon Murray, one of his Santaland shorts appears as an uncredited extra on one of these discs. Both discs have a bunch of Storybook Classics trailers as filler. Pretty cool stuff there.)

Jimmy is an attempt at a real film. The premise being, this kid wished time stopped and then has to start it up again. Along the way there's terrible singing, a villain that could be Faud Ramsey's cousin and a poorly dubbed cartoon stuck in the middle as padding. (Check out Hersh's terrible Sylverter the Cat impression. Mel Blanc, he ain't!) Though there were many snooze inducing parts, again, I found it worth checking out, if you are into the warped kid flicks as I am.

Then we had an infamous one from the dynamic duo of Lee Frost and Bob Creese, Love Camp 7. I remember reading about this one in Incredibly Strange Films and knew I'd have to see it someday. This one may have been the first Nazisplotation film, a dubious honor, I'm sure. You know it was created just on the cusp of hardcore porn as you never see any of the guys take their pants off, and you see a whole bunch of torture and whatnot in lieu of sex.

The best part of the film, hands down, is Creese, in the role he was born to play, as the camp commandant. Bob doesn't just chew the scenery, he Hoovers up large pieces of it like a black hole let loose on the Hogan's Heroes set (which, according to legend, was where this was filmed.) Other than that, the movie is kind of dull. At least there's ample 60s cuties to gawk at, though the sex scenes made me reach for the fast forward button.

Other than that, I've had some time to view a few discs I got on the last Deep Discount sale. I was anxiously awaiting the new Godzilla discs from Classic Media and again, they impress with their releases. Ghidora the Three Headed Monster makes it's US DVD debut and Invasion of the Astro-Monster (aka Monster Zero) returns after being out of print for ages. Like the other releases, you get the US and Japanese cuts, commentary tracks and documentary features on one or another aspect of the Godzilla series.

Both of these movies are great, in my opinion, and Classic's discs serve them well. Quality is again top notch, though I found it a little curious that they reedited the Japanese prints to match the US dub tracks rather than using a proper US print this time around. I'm guessing it was to curb criticism like they had from their US print of Godzilla vs. Mothra that was the incorrect aspect ratio. Still, I can't recommend these discs highly enough and I only wish Classic had the rights to all the Godzilla films in the US as they appear to be the only company to truly do them right. (And the discs are cheap!)

Finally, I watched Sin City and I know at this point I must be the last person on the planet to see it. I only own it for the PSP as my friend I bought my PS from threw it in. Since I found these spiffy speakers at Target for cheap, I figured I'd kill an afternoon with it.

About the movie, my only real complaint is it could have used some tightening up. Ironic to say this, considering there's an even longer director's cut, but I just felt it could have been a little shorter and not any less of a movie for it. However, I loved the story, thought the look was great and I especially liked Mickey Rourk. Really fun stuff.

Watching a movie on a PSP is like staring at a dollar bill for two hours. It's easy to see why the UMD bombed as a movie format bombed, aside from the fact that people aren't too keep on paying twice as much for a lower quality disc they can only watch on the PSP. The screen on the PSP is great and with this Psyclone speaker set up ($25, Target clearance rack) you end up with a miniature home theater, but that's just the problem. It's too small to get really engrossed in like I like to with a movie. Even my Phillips portable with a 10" screen is a more enjoyable experience.

So, there's the latest in my movie watching diary. Also, Planet Earth on Blu-Ray is mind blowing. There's the PS3's killer app. After seeing that, it's really hard to go back to standard definition anything. Such pretty colors...

Rob the Hobby Lobby, tell 'em make me a shirt.

I know I'm not the target audience for hip-hop fashion. I'm white, 31 and from the suburbs of the mid-west. Not East Coast or West Coast. I'm straight up No Coast.

However, like many other white dudes who grew up in the 80s, hip-hop was my rock and roll. Run DMC was my Beatles, Public Enemy, my Clash. After that first wave of MTV crested, hip-hop and hair metal seemed to be the only things left with any of that youthful energy and fun. Motley Crue and Faster Pussycat just didn't move me like the Juice Crew did.

Like all other youth based musical movements, hip-hop was about fashion as well as the music. When I got to the point where I was buying my own clothes, I usually ended up looking like I'd walked off the set of In Living Colour. Thanks to MC Search, a large white dude didn't look any more ridiculous than anyone else sporting Cross Colors and Karl Kani.

As gangsta took over from the DAISY age, hip-hop style and the budding grunge thing started looking a lot alike. (The main difference being the fit and washing of garments, or lack thereof.) Then hip-hop clothes went from over sized to ridiculously large.

I guess I kinda lost the script some time in the mid 90s. Pants around the ankles and man dress t-shirts just didn't appeal to me. Strangely enough, much of what was happening on the music side of things wasn't hitting it either.

Since then, I've gotten back into some hip-hop, thanks mostly to a vibrant underground scene. Mainstream hip-hop has gotten more and more over the top, and not in a good way, and for the most part I just can't get with it.

I've been in New York for the past four days and this being the birthplace of it and all, I've just been checking out the hip-hop fashions while on the hunt for some new kicks. While I'm glad to see the baring your ass style is out, I'm kind of baffled by what appears to be the next coming thing.


Know what that is? Yes, it's the Bedazzler. No longer the exclusive tool of preteen girls and rednecks, the Bedazzler is making it's mark here on the streets of NYC. I suppose it's the next logical step in rap's obsession with shiny objects that shirts, jackets and pants with everything from subtle accents to entire designs Bedazzled upon them would be on deck.


Warning: This man may be gangsta.
As if the Bedazzler wasn't puzzling enough, I think hip-hop fasion really has been usurped by New Kids on the Block fans stuck in a time warp, because I swear to Koresh I've seen puffy paint gracing the bellys of some thugged out dudes. I'm talking lavender sparkly puffy paint! This is the kind of stuff that should only be used to write things like "Jordan is hot!!!" on a t-shirt, not something someone trying to look hard should be seen dead in.

And day-glo colors are apparently large and in charge. In fact, it was getting frustrating on my sneaker quest because while I was finding styles I dig, the colors were some variety of Technicolor vomit even Cindy Lauper wouldn't have worn back in 1983 when the stuff was popular the first time.

Girlz just wanna be thugz.

Now, I'm not going to pretend the hip-hop fashion of my time wasn't silly in it's own way. I mean, did anyone look good in Hammer pants? But at least I didn't dress like my little sister. I just don't get the current thing of how looking like a preteen gril from 1987 made your outfit is hip-hop.

Maybe that's the point?

Yeah I got on sneaks, but I need a new pair...

And they only cost $100 more than when I bought a pair in the late 80s.

...

Normally I detest remakes with every fiber of my being, but...

wow.

One of my favorite movies is getting the remake treatment, and check this out...



I have hope for this one. Crispin Glover is an inspired choice to play Montag. The trailer is a bit too Hollywood for me, but here's hoping this one comes out alright. This is maybe my favorite HGL film. I really hope they don't screw it up.

What I've been up to

I haven't abandoned ship here. I'm in the middle of moving. Above is about 75% of my CD collection. I haven't even touched the vinyl yet and frankly I'm scared to start.

Other than that, I've been busy with stuff. Svetlana finally recorded so hopefully we will have some sort of music available on the soon side. We've also played a record two shows in a month, so we're all pretty beat.

I've been enjoying unemployment, but I haven't really had too much time to catch up on the movie watching or music listening. I did get the Joe Henderson Milestone Box Set which has been completely rocking my world. This is some of the best mainstream jazz of the early 70s, to be sure. Highly underrated stuff.

I've also rediscovered my love of the Hammond B3 and all who play it. Specifically, I've been digging the recordings of Groove Holmes, Jack McDuff and Jimmy McGriff. Luckily for me, a lot of that stuff is available through eMusic so I'm not adding to the mountain of boxes above. I highly recommend Groove Holmes' On Basie's Bandstand and Jimmy McGriff's Groove Grease, if you have the chance to hear them.

(Yes, I know I did just throw a ton of Amazon Associate links at you. Sue me for trying to make a buck. I'm unemployed now, you know.)

Seriously though, firing up a bunch of ripping B3 discs has been about all that's keeping me going for packing all this stuff. I've lived in this place about 7 years and it shows.

OK, one more link, but it's another honest to Koresh recommendation. This Roma Violenta compilation of tracks from Italian cop movies of the 70s. (Think Dirty Harry but nastier.) This is some of the best driving music I've come across in a while. I wish I still had my Charger because this would be the soundtrack album. Another thing I'm thankful for eMusic for.

(While I'm whoring, if anyone wants 50 free eMusic downloads, shoot me your email. I feel dirty now.)

Enough of all that. I'm tired and I got another day of packing ahead. Just wanted to let you all know why you probably aren't going to hear much from me for a little while.

Cheers.

I'm almost sad really.

Because I know this thift score is going to take a while to beat. Yeah, I haven't done a thrift score in a while. I really haven't found that much interesting. But today...



Yes, that is an original pressing of Ska Authentic on the ND label from 1964, not Studio One like all subsequent pressings. The top seam is split, but the vinyl looks surprisingly good. How this ended up in a thrift store in Indianapolis (and remain in such relatively good shape) I'll never know.

Own a piece of Arch Hall Jr. history...

Do you have Twist Fever?

You too can sing the beautiful strains of "Vickie" lounging by the pool with Bud Eagle's 1960 Jazzmaster. (Richard Kiel not included.)

Interestingly enough, this leads me into a double barrel review. I recently got the Wild Guitar/The Choppers double feature from Something Weird and the Wild Guitar CD from Norton. Arch could actually play guitar and, even though he had some sappy stuff in his movies, the tape of him and the Archers playing at a drive-in is pretty rocking. Apparently he was a big fan of Albert King and Johnny Otis.

In the liner notes, he mentioned getting an endorsement deal with Fender for the Wild Guitar and they pretty much forced him into a Jazzmaster. Maybe this is the same one. Sure looks like it. (Yeah, I know he's got a Tele on the album cover. Sue me.)

Also got the Wild Guitar/Choppers double. I had Wild Guitar on an inspired dollar store DVD paired with The Beatniks. Needless to say, the quality on this is a million times better, plus you get all the extras Something Weird is known for.

As for the films, I really dig 'em. Wild Guitar is a "country bumpkin moves to big city to be a star" story but it's done really well. Yeah, Arch is sickeningly "Gee wiz!" through out, but his dad(!) and Ray Dennis Steckler are great as sleazy music industry rollers who lock Arch's Bud Eagle into a financial straight jacket where he has to be essentially a trained monkey. (And you thought that stuff didn't happen until Steve Albini wrote about it.)

The Choppers is a short JD picture. Shot several years before it was released, Arch looks about 12 in it. In this one, Arch plays a look out for a gang of car strippers. It's a fairly simple story, they get caught, people die, the survivors go to jail. The End. Oh, the greasy fat guy from Attack of the Giant Leeches is in there. That's a plus.

So, there it is. For some strange reasons, I'd claim being an Arch Hall fan. Yeah, he got knocked around on Mystery Science Theater, but he's got some kind of goofy charm I just can't put my finger on. You can get most of his movies cheap on public domain issues, well worth whatever you invest in them.

Welcome to the crappiest place on Earth!

In honor of the Chinese government's renewed pledges to curb intellectual property theft, I thought a trip to the Shijingshan Amusement Park was in order.



Hat tip to Cartoon Brew for the story.

Big Commotion 1968

Zany, episodic mod 60s flick staring Japanese Group Sounds band The Spiders. The film kind of plays like a long Monkees episode. As I gather what's going on (no subs, baah!) the boy's Galaxy 500 wagon gets rear ended by this chick and of course one of the guys falls madly in love with her. The rest of the film is a bunch of set pieces about him trying to win her heart. One guy in the band keeps having these weird hallucinations and imagines the band playing in the North Pole (riding polar bears) and in war and similar odd situations.

Along the way, the Spiders play some songs. It's an interesting post-Beatles, pre-acid rock 60s sound. Lots of pop hooks, but a distinct Japanese flavor. Good stuff, I'd love to hear more.

It looks like this was taken from a video source and it's non anamorphic letterboxed, which is very good. However, the video has been processed through 5 Minutes to Live's patiented video crapifier making the end result a bit of a pixely mess. It's still watchable, but it looks more like some web video blown up and less like a DVD. (Dear 5mtl, your source may be A- but until you invest in a real capture device and not the set top DVD recorder you got at WalMart for $69, this disc is a C+.)

Also be aware there are no subs and this is in Japanese. It's not very easy to follow, but I doubt speaking the language would make it that much easier.

Recommended if you can trade for it *cough cough cough* and you're into this sort of thing.

Bands I Useta Like

Funny stuff here: http://www.mikethepod.com/BIUL.htm

Review: Alice in Acidland/Smoke & Flesh

This one has been in the hopper for a while and I finally decided to tackle this double feature of drugsploitation this weekend. Why I picked this disc up, I don't know as the drug films really aren't my thing. I guess I'm a Something Weird completest.

We start with Alice in Acidland. This film is classic exploitation all the way through. From the faux moral high ground narration, to the depiction of all the depravity it is supposedly condemning, Alice is the grandchild of Reefer Madness through and through. Even the title carries the tradition of being leagues better than the picture under it.

Unfortunately, Alice is missing the goofy charm of it's predecessors. Make no mistake, this is a picture designed to show as much T&A and unattractive people dry humping as they could at the time, but it does so in the dullest way possible. I never made it to the full color acid trip scenes at the end, but I have a hunch I didn't miss a thing.

Marginally better is Smoke and Flesh. This one isn't a roadshow style exploiter, in fact it's almost arty in it's execution. Some groovy people score some pot whereupon they disrobe and have softcore sex. A gang of bikers crash the party and the hero doses the leader with LSD to get them to leave. Then everyone goes back to their cardboard tube bong and playing strip slot cars. The end.

There's not much to it, but it does have a few nice shots. It also has a garage rock track that sounds like of the Fabulous Wailers that plays over and over for nearly the entire 70 minutes of the film. And lots of shots of "the man" riding his motorcycle. Honestly, it was hard for me to pay attention to most of the film. Maybe I needed some of what they were smoking.

At least we have the special features and in this case they outshine the main attractions. First there's the usual assortment of trailers, radio ads and magazine covers. I'd buy discs of this stuff and, come to think of it, I have.

However, we also have a third featurette, Aphrodisiac: The Sexual Secret of Marijuana. Now this is something worth watching. An edited hardcore feature (I've heard it's more of a "soft" X. It's available from Something Weird on DVD-R, if you're really curious.) Aphrodisiac purports to be an educational film about the sexual properties of pot. What it is is plain and simple exploitation.

There's phony facts and figures. Silly man on the street interviews. Stiff dialogue. Early John Holmes. This one is really funny. Not worth the cost of the disc, mind you, but at least there's something worth watching here.

I love Something Weird, but I'll admit not everything they put out is for my taste. Maybe this is a case of that, but I really think with the exception of Aphrodisiac this is just a dull disc.

Pleasant Nightmares

Check it out here!

I don't know why I hadn't thought of checking YouTube for Sammy Terry clips before. Luckily there's a ton of stuff up there now. Prepare to waste most of a day going through all that good stuff.

For those who don't know, Sammy Terry was Indy's Shock Theater host who aired on WTTV from 1962-89. Not as well known as Svengoolie or some of the others, I think he's every bit as good, if not better.

I have a lot of good memories of not just the show, but also taking music lessons at Family Music, which was Bob Carter's store on the East Side. He stored some of his Sammy Terry props in the back room above the drum set. I never got enough nerve to root through there and see if George or Skull was lurking just above my head.

Anyway, for my Indy readers, hopefully this will take you back and everyone else should check it out and see what we grew up watching. Man I miss locally produced TV. You just don't get this kind of entertainment anymore.

Sly & The Family Stone - The Collection

OK, this is going to be a quick review here of the new Sly & the Family Stone set from Legacy. This isn't really a box set as much as it is all seven of the recently remastered Family Stone albums boxed and sold at a cheap price (I got mine for $50.) These discs are all available separately, though I'd suggest springing for the whole set. There's at least four solid classic albums in there and the other three aren't that bad either.

While people constantly crab about how the Beatles catalog needs freshening up, it still amazes me at how shabby other acts of the era have fared on CD. At least you can get all the Beatles albums on CD and they have a semi-respectable replica of the original artwork. Small Talk was only available on CD in Japan until this reissue series and the covers for There's A Riot Goin' On and Dance to the Music were butchered horribly. And the sound, well, I don't even think it was near state of the art when these discs were first released.

These new issues restore all the art work in a digipack and feature spiffy new mastering jobs. I'm sorry they didn't go the hybrid SACD route like they did with the recent Bob Dylan set, but these things sound excellent. Though I still haven't combed over everything with a fine tooth comb, I can't find anything really to complain about there.

However, I do have one major beef. Legacy has thrown on a handful of bonus tracks and 45 mixes, all of which are appreciated. What I don't understand is why they couldn't have thrown on the three crucial single only tracks recorded between Stand! and Riot. It really aggravates me that I'm still going to have to buy a hits collection to have "Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin)," "Everybody Is a Star" and "Hot Fun in the Summertime," easily three of the band's best tracks. There was plenty of room to include them and no reason not to (except the desire to make fans shell out for one more disc.)

The other thing I'd like to see is the couple of non-Family Stone Epic albums finally get a CD reissue (though I've heard they aren't very good) and, just to be complete, how about the ahead of it's time remix album Ten Years Too Soon? Still, thanks Legacy for finally doing Sly & the Family Stone Right. This is some essential music, highly recommended.

Best Musician Wanted Ad Ever.

Guitarists...if you are not Eddie Van Halen, think music died about 1976, have more vintage gear than a top name studio, are willing to learn 30 covers and practice several times during working hours (but have a steady financial situation,) have a willingness to be completely pushed around but are ready to make $100, possibly more, a week, have I got the gig for you.

Looks like he might take a drummer too but, just my luck, dude only plays a Hammond A-100. I can't get with anything less than a B-3. Pitty...I was so looking forward to rocking some Dave Mason in Kokomo Indiana.

UPDATE: well, he pulled down the ad, but thanks to the magic of Google Cache, IT LIVES!!!!

Yet another Grindhouse review.

Because this is one of those films that really seems to have people divided and is inspiring a lot of passion in movie nerds, I feel I should kind of break down where I'm coming from before I get into Grindhouse. First off, if you just stumbled in here, I am certainly a fan of the grindhouse cinema. I get and appreciate where this is coming from.

I'm fairly neutral on Tarantino and have no opinion on Rodriguez. I also went into this movie as blind as possible. I purposely didn't watch trailers, read up on the hype, etc.

With that out of the way, let's start.

Part One: Planet Terror. The government has created some sort of green mist that is turning people into pus filled zombies and a paramilitary group is after it. A mysterious guy fights with the hard nosed local law to save the world. His stripper girlfriend finds her true self in all the chaos.

Sound familiar? It should.

Planet Terror's story is appropriately convoluted and it almost all comes together in the end. Still, the story is secondary to the action, and Planet Terror is almost wall to wall action. By the end, it's obvious Rodriguez has kind of painted himself into a corner, but it really doesn't matter. If I had a dollar for every genre picture I've seen with a burn out ending, I'd be filming one of my own.

The one thing that seems to really have gotten the film nerds up in arms about Planet Terror is the use of CGI. Despite the artificial aging, this is obviously a modern film and I don't really think they were trying to hide that fact.

Imagine if Cannon Pictures invented a time machine, zoomed from 1982 to now, brought back some CGI technology (and a bit of 2007 budget,) gave it to Cozzi or Fulchi and told them to go nuts. Part homage, part parody, Planet Terror is every over the top 80s action/zombie gross out/horror flick you've seen refashioned for today.

It's silly, it's gory, it's loud and all action. Yes, Rose McGowan with a machine gun for a leg is ridiculous, but it's supposed to be. So many of these films were ridiculous.

Planet Terror was huge fun and exactly what I expected from Grindhouse.



Part Two: Death Proof. Where to start? I know what Tarantino was going for. I know he loved all the old AIP/Crown car pictures. How do I know that? Because the characters in Death Proof make explicit* reference to such genre classics as Vanishing Point and Gone In 60 Seconds (the original) when they aren't gabbing on and on about sex.

There's also an element of the rape revenge film, though there's no sex at all here. In fact, it's really difficult for me to understand what Kurt Russell's heavy Stuntman Mike was after here, because there was zero character development for him. All we know about him is he stalks these girls, kills them with his car and then breaks down like a little baby instantly when the table is turned.

And it's not just Stuntman Mike who is underdeveloped. In between a couple of rather uninteresting car chase scenes, there's talking, lots of talking that never really advances the plot or the characters. None of the characters really amounts to much, despite all the gabbing they do. Never once do you develop any interest in them and personally, I kept hoping Mike was going to manage to off the chicks in the end after all. Considering Quentin is trying to make this a character driven film, allowing the character to grate as they do is a big misstep.

If Quentin was trying to duplicate the tedium of some of these genre pictures, mission accomplished. However, I think true grindhouse audiences wouldn't have had the patience for this one. It's like when Death Proof is not trying to be a car chase/female empowerment film, Death Proof becomes some film school version of French New Wave and it just doesn't work.

So maybe I don't get Death Proof, but what I saw was a boring mess of a film. How Tarantino managed to make a film with hot chicks talking about sex, car chases and Kurt Russell dull, I don't know, but he did it. I'll say this, if you love that famous "Tarantino dialogue", you're going to adore this film because that's about all there is to it.

Bonus features: The fake trailers are pretty good. Thanksgiving and Don't are brilliant. I expected a little more from Rob Zombie's take on the Ilsa/Olga naziplotation genre though.

So, in the end I'd pass on the same advice I got going into this: you can safely leave after the trailer for Thanksgiving and feel like you got your money's worth. You really won't be missing much.

* I half expected the film to stop and Quentin come out and explain "Ok, in the next scene, I'm referring to..." It was almost insulting the way the character come right out and tell the audience what films Tarintion is paying homage to.

The EMI/iTunes Thing.

I'm sure you've heard about it by now, but if not, EMI is going to be the first label selling music without rights restricting DRM on the iTunes music store. They're also finally bumping the bit rate up to a more acceptable (but still not idea, that would be Apple Lossless or equal) bit rate. Oh, and they're charging you 30 cents more a track for the privilege.

In this deal, EMI gets to look cutting edge for being the first of the big four to lose DRM and Steve Jobs gets to look like the knight in shining armor because he gave this big anti-DRM speech recently. While I agree losing DRM is a win for consumers, I think when you look at this deal, it has a lot less to do with pleasing consumers and a lot more with business as usual.

Take Jobs for instance. Though there's a bit of revisionist history at work, Apple wasn't always anti-DRM. In fact, they've told labels who specifically asked to sell DRM-free music they couldn't. Why did this guy who, up 'till recently, had no problem with right restricting software suddenly have a change of heart?

Sure, it's possible Steve's had a change of heart. However, I think it might have something to do with not wanting to fight for DRM all over Europe. Norway already has smacked FairPlay down, Italy is going that way too. Same with France and Germany.

Pardon me for being cynical, but you have something that ties users to your specific product (and Jobs' figures on iTunes music store purchases vs. iPod ownership are really skewed) why you'd want to voluntary change that, I could not imagine. The fact that Jobs, who is a majority shareholder in Disney, hasn't come out against video DRM, and is clearly in a position to do something about that from both sides of the purchasing chain, also makes me skeptical.

As for EMI, here's where people are missing the big picture. It doesn't cost them any extra to offer higher bit rate, non-DRM tracks, but they're getting 30 cents more a pop. The record industry has been trying for quite a while to charge more at the iTunes music store, but up until now Jobs has said no.

Now Jobs is in a bit of a bind over this DRM thing, which up to know has worked out well for Apple and the industry. Apple needs to ditch the DRM, the industry wants to charge more and we end up where we are now. A win/win for Apple and EMI. A partial victory for consumers.

Free Movie: War of the Monsters

Thanks to my buddy at WTF-films, here's something kind of neat for you. It's the AIP-TV dub of Gamera vs. Baraugon in widescreen! Enjoy! (And take a shot each time they mispronounce Gamera.)

Review: X From Outer Space

This is probably going to be the worst review I've written so far. Reason being, I fell asleep multiple times while watching this movie. I'm fairly confident that I got enough of it to accurately convey what's going on and if it's worth your time.

Honestly, this is a very simple movie. Some people go into space, they unknowingly bring back a monster egg, which hatches and wrecks stuff. That's pretty much X from Outer Space right there. Of course, it takes the first 45 minutes of the movie to actually get to the point where anything really interesting starts happening. Hence my naps.

Long the way we have a small love triangle featuring two women who can't put professionalism above their personal feelings and male object of affection who doesn't seem to care much either way. There's also enough pseudoscience and scientific coincidences to equip a cheesy comic book for a whole year.

The monster, who is for some reason christened Guilala (there is no X from Outer Space in this movie)is pretty dang goofy looking. Imagine a bee stung Godzilla with a stingray for a head. Then put a pair of those bopper antennas on him.



The model work isn't too bad, at least not until you get close up. To Shochiku's credit, the sets are pretty big. There's lots of crap to stomp, it's just not that detailed. Of course, there's some horrible green screen work any time the monster has to appear with humans. Obviously, they only made the man sized suit and not any scale models for scenes that needed them.

I won't spoil the ending for you, but let's just say it involves one of those coincidental scientific discoveries I was talking about earlier. Really, you're better just to forget about the plot and enjoy the monster.

Two other things. One it looks like this movie was filmed either with a fish eye lens or to be shown on a curved screen. Everything looks a little stretched and it gets worse near the edges of the frame. Frankly, it about drove me nuts, though other than that the picture looks pretty good (and it is original aspect ratio.)

This disc doesn't have subs but it does include the English dub. I don't know who did it, but the dub is pretty good except for the fact that all the Caucasians in this movie have some really over the top Hogan's Heroes German accents. At times, it was difficult to figure out what the hell the white folks were saying!

Given the fact that this isn't available here in the US (and I'm surprised some public domain company hasn't tried to release it yet like they have with Gamera and Yongary) I'd really say only if you're a kaiju completest should you track this down. There isn't anything here kaiju fans haven't seen dozens of times already and what is here is really average at best.

(I almost forgot, there is one classic scene of an astronaut plugging a hole in the space ship with his ass. That was pretty much the best part of the first half of the movie right there.)

Review: The Invisible Boy (1957)

The Invisible Boy is tucked away on the second disc of Warner's recent Forbidden Planet double dip. Watching this film didn't ring any bells, so I'm pretty sure this was a first viewing for me. It's kind of obscure and barely a fraction of the movie Forbidden Planet is, but it's kind of fun anyway.

Egghead mathematician Dr. Tom Merrinoe is irritated that his son Timmy is almost 10 and can't play a decent game of chess. So he takes the boy in to meet this supercomputer he's created and the machine teached the boy about chess...and world domination. Dun duh duuuuuuuuuh!

Timmy hustles his dad at chess and in return gets to play with Robby the Robot. Actually, he has to rebuild Robby first, which he does flawlessly and no one seems to find this weird despite the fact that all these other science dudes couldn't figure out what made him tick. Later, Timmy has the supercomputer reprogram Robby to forget the first law of robotics because he wants Robby to fly him in this dangerous kite Robby built for him.

Timmy's mom sees him flying, flips out and deals the kid a beatdown. This leads to Timmy wishing he could do fun stuff and no one could see him, so Robby cooks up an invisibility potion for him. Again, the fact that something completely fantastic just happened seems to be handled very nonchalantly and the boy receives another whooping after playing voyeur on his parents. (Ewwww!)

Meanwhile, the army is trying to get a rocket up and has asked the supercomputer for help, but the machine has different ideas. Dr. Merrinoe has some code sequence memorized that the machine needs so it can be disassembled and reassembled on the moon where it will then rule the Earth. (Huh?) The computer has Robby take Timmy hostage and install transmitters in the skulls of all the army and science people around the doctor to try and persuade him.

The rest of the movie is the doctor trying to get Timmy back without giving away the code. You can probably guess what happens, but if you can't, I'll give you a clue. They all live happily ever after (and Robby protects Timmy from getting a final spanking. Sheesh, you'd think they be happy to get the kid back in one piece.)

I know it's not fair to compare this movie to Forbidden Planet, but given they are packaged together like this, it's kind of hard not to. The Invisible Boy is pretty much the polar opposite of that masterpiece. It's cheap, juvenile and silly with tons of pseudoscience whereas Planet is a mature "A" picture with lots of research and care going into it. Forbidden Planet was based on Shakespeare. The Invisible Boy could have been a Richie Rich comic.

My favorite thing about The Invisible Boy (aside from Robby, who is still my favorite movie robot) is the way everyone treats Timmy and his various shenanigans. In the first five minutes of the film, it's pretty obvious the kid is depressed because his father is self-absorbed and a workaholic and his mother is the typical weak "wait 'till your father gets home" type. Everything Timmy does is either wrong or worth a beating. No chance of sparing the rod and spoiling the child here.

However, when the kid is responsible for some amazing stuff, it's just brushed off. Rebuild a robot that a bunch of science dudes couldn't figure out? Oh, that's nice. Turn yourself invisible? He's just acting out. This whole movie plays like some pop psychology hell.

Then there's the supercomputer. Despite being cheap (and having a midsection that looks like one of those dessert display cabinets you used to see in restaurants) is kinda cool. Because it's the heavy, one might be tempted to see this as a precursor to man vs. machine movies like 2001 and Blade Runner, but really, that's giving The Invisible Boy too much credit. The film still plays like a giant monster movie, except this time the monster is electric...err...atomic (this was the 50s, after all.)

It's obvious The Invisible Boy was thrown together to get some more mileage out of the expensive Robby suit. It probably didn't hurt that this movie would appeal to the kiddies either. If you approach it like a kid's B movie, it's a bit easier to swallow. Still, I'd have a hard time recommending this to anyone other than sci-fi completests or Robby the Robot fans.

Review: The Land Unknown (WTF-flims)

The last DVD I looked at was The Deadly Mantis, a Universal sci-fi flick that managed to get a lot wrong. So today I'm going to talk about The Land Beyond, another late 50s Universal sci-fi that manages to get closer to right. Mind you, it's not a great movie, but if you're a fan of 50s sci-fi/giant monster flicks, you're going to enjoy this one.

I'm not going to lie to you and say this is some mold breaking sci-fi work. It's not. As usual, we have the reporter lady Maggie tagging along with the scientist/military guys on an expedition. This time they're going to the South Pole for reasons I missed. Their helicopter is clipped by what looks to the audience to be a pterodactyl and they are forced to land in a balmy crater well below sea level.

Exploring the terrain proves they're not in Kansas anymore. Our leader Hal quickly surmises they're in the mesozoic period, a fact which everyone seems nonchalant about. Maggie's clothes start to fall apart (though in one scene, her sleeves magically reappear, then dissapear) and the group discovers the survivor from a previous mission who's magical conch shell sounds like the Stan Kenton horn section and keeps the dinosaurs away. He and Hal fight over Maggie while the guys try to find the parts to fix their helicopter.

What helps here is the actors aren't entirely incompetent and the effects are actually pretty good. The t-rex is a suit with a big old animated head. Kind of cool. Not the best, but neat enough. The sets are pretty decent though. You can tell it's a sound stage, but at least they tried.

Interesting that you can tell they put some money in to this, they even went so far as to film in Cinemascope, but they didn't go so far as to use color film. Granted, that wouldn't have changed the fact that this is still a pretty silly movie, but it might have give it a touch of class over the other B-movie sci-fi of the day.

WTF's disc is letterboxed and looks good. Crisp image, good blacks, etc. (By contrast, I have a Cryptflicks disc of this that's almost gray and white.) You also get the trailer, an image gallery (short as it is) and an easter egg with Italian opening credits. The only beef I have is the menu is a little wonky. All the items are accessable, but the direction buttons don't go the way you'd expect them to.

Good stuff here. Fun movie, not a great one, but if you're into the genre and ready to dig a little deeper, you could do a lot worse than The Land Beyond.

Available from WTF-film. Use coupon code cdr10 at check out for 10% off.

heh.

Yet another comic related website I'm addicted to...Superdickery.

Couple more...just for Butchieboy...

The Incredibly Shrinking MST3K

It should come as no shock to anyone reading this blog that I love MST3K (or Mystery Science Theater 3000, to be exact.) However, the show has been off the air for years. The only way to watch it anymore is either through the beauty of tape trading/file sharing or the DVDs and videos Rhino has released.

Despite feeling they are a bit pricey and sometimes a little carelessly assembled, I do genuinely appreciate the Rhino releases. Recently, I've become a little concerned about the future of MST3K at retail. I'm not going to claim it's all over for the cowtown puppet show, but I do have to wonder if we're seeing the beginning of the end.

Part of the problem is licensing. See, MST3K has got to be the most difficult TV show in terms of rights and licensing anyone ever could have created. Since each episode encompassed an entire movie, the broadcast rights for that movie would have to be secured and renewed to keep that episode on the air. If Rhino wanted to release that episode, additional rights needed to be secured.

Rhino has been an excellent home for MST3K if for no other reason than they already have the rights to a lot of movies featured on the show. The problem is, over time those rights expire and if the owners of the film chose not to renew, that episode would go out of print.

This first happened in the VHS days with Amazing Colossal Man being the first episode orphaned. No real surprise, considering that movie and it's sequel War of the Colossal Beast (also featured in MST3K) have been embroiled in rights tangles for years. Next to go was another single episode release, The Beginning of the End, which went out of print when the rights to the movie went over to Image early last year.

Though there was a considerable gap of time between those first two casualties, the deletions have been fast and furious since. In the last year, Rhino lost the rights to all four films on the Vol. 1 set and Sidehackers for Vol. 3 (orphaning three other discs in the process.) Vol. 10 was pulled almost as fast as it was released (though we still don't know why, the assumption being Godzilla vs. Megalon wasn't licensed properly to begin with) and a few weeks ago fans discovered Vol. 9 is MIA as well.

If these were all older releases, it wouldn't be so shocking, but the fact of the matter is, the two most recently released MST3K sets are out of print, one within weeks of hitting the shelves. I've also noticed the release date for Vol. 11 keeps getting pushed further and further and still no titles leaked. One has to wonder what the heck is going on at Rhino.

The other problem is stores just aren't stocking these things any more. I recently spoke to someone at Best Buy and he told me he didn't think they were carrying any MST3K discs anymore. Despite all the shelf space they're giving to TV on DVD, apparently they can't spare any room for MST3K. It's a similar situation at the other box boxes out here. Cult releases, like MST3K, are getting pushed out for more room for triple dips of Hollywood's latest CGI-fest.

With rights vanishing along with self space, I have to wonder what the future holds for MST3K on DVD. Even at best, these can't be huge sellers anyway. With dwindling retail placement and nightmarish licensing, releasing these things can't be much more than a labor of love. I just have to wonder how much longer Rhino is going to feel that love.

Update 3/19: Looks like I Accuse My Parents may have slipped over to the land beyond. Good luck trying to score a copy, all the sellers on half.com and Amazon appear to be "warehouse" sellers who list tons of crap they don't actually have on hand. If this is truly OOP, I don't exactly know why...

Review: The Deadly Mantis (WTF-flim)

You can't deny Universal Studio's might in the world of monster movies. Dracula, Frankenstein, the Mummy, the Creature and on and on and on. Classics all. Then you discover something like this lurking behind the Universal globe and you have to wonder what the hell they were thinking. Were they trying to fill the lower half of a double bill and didn't feel like re-running one of their classics? Was the market for Z-grade flick like those that Astor and Lippard cranked out that lucrative?

Anyway, the key with these bottom of the barrel monster movies was suspense and advertising. Give the movie a name like "The Thing that Killed" or "Hell Creature of the Sky" and keep the audience guessing as to the creature looks like. Of course, it's going to be silly and cheap, but there was always that anticipation that it might be scary. However, even the title of the Deadly Mantis gives it away, so when the characters spend half the movie trying to figure out what's taking down airplanes, we already know.

Aside from that, you can go down the Z-grade monster movie check list and pretty much check the box by every cliche. Three main characters; scientist guy, military guy and reporter girl. Check. Cold war underpinnings? Check. Atomic energy as the trigger? Check. Narriator? Check. Copious stock footage? Yep. Giant bug? How's this guy for ya?


I know a lot of people like to take the piss out of Bert I. Gordon, but watching this movie seriously makes one appreciate what he could do in the giant bug genre. I'm not going to suggest Mr. BIG was a great filmmaker, but you could never accuse him of being less than entertaining. I fell asleep twice during the Deadly Mantis. No lie. There's only so much army stock footage a man can take.

Anyway, I'm sure you're all going to want to run right out and secure a copy of this for your very own, so let me tell you a little about the DVD. As usual, WTF-film does a great job with the disc. From cover to menus, the whole thing looks great. The transfer (which, I'm assuming comes from the old Universal Sci-Fi laserdisc set) is slightly windowboxed full frame and looks really good*. This looks about as good as the Sci-Fi set Universal put out last year and has extras (trailer and photo gallery) that Universal didn't bother with to boot. Unless they decide to put out another Sci-Fi collection, I think this is going to be the best way to own this movie, even if I can only really recommend it for genre completists.

Available from WTF-film. Use coupon code cdr10 at check out for 10% off.


* note, if you were reading message boards around the time Universal released This Island Earth on DVD, you'd know there's a ton of controversy over the correct aspect ratio for the Universal Sci-Fi and Horror films of this era. I'm in the camp that believes these were meant to be cropped to 1.85:1 widescreen, but transfers like this that are full frame rather than pan and scan don't bug me too much.